New Spotify Feature Allows You to Listen to Music and Podcast at the Same Time, so You Never Have to Deal With an Intrusive Thought Again

STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN — Spotify has announced the release of a new feature that will allow users to listen to songs and podcasts at the same time. This way you don’t have to listen to your own thoughts.

“You know what’s better than one? Two things! Now he can stream two audios at the same time from the same account,” said Cleo Berger, head of his PR team at Spotify. “People will love it because they will be able to consume more of our great content and not be exposed to the noise in their brains. You can’t listen to anything but premium content, eliminating all frustration with work, home life, or life in general.”

Iliana Harris is beta testing this feature and hopes it will eventually drown out her inner monologue.

“When I bought a Bluetooth speaker for my shower, I thought I had finally solved this problem. But I was wrong. Thoughts started creeping in even milliseconds of silence,” Harris said. “This co-play is a godsend. As long as you remember to pay your internet bills, you’ll never have to think about your hellish existence again. You won’t be forced to think too much about your problems. Or , simply by thinking about it regularly.”

Psychologist Dr. Carter Garmo, who studies the effects of media on human well-being, observes that this behavior develops over time.

“A deer can hear about 300 yards in any direction. Imagine duct-taping an amplifier to your head so you can hear every sign of danger from miles away. Look, maybe you’ll die in a day.Social media has basically done that to every human being on the planet,” Garmo said. “Early self-medication involved watching ‘The Office’ non-stop as background noise, and we’re just seeing examples become more extreme over time. I realize that if I say this out loud, this might explain why “Suits” was probably the number one show on cable, but I’ve met people who claim to watch it It is not.

Shortly after its release, Spotify also announced that it had struck a deal to install a fully immersive, ad-funded audio experience on the small road you walk to clear your head.