An Interview with Myself

In the six years since I first started writing for The Jewish Journal (four of which are weekly columnists), I have interviewed many dynamic people, including writers, activists, dignitaries, journalists, my mother and most recently my Israeli grandmother. I was. in honor of Israel’s 75th birthday).

But the only person who really means the world to me, in her bright, lovely, humble glory, I have yet to interview.

If this experiment is successful, I look forward to conducting more interviews with my younger self (past), my old self (future), and my artificial intelligence version (ChatGPTabby).

Since May is my birthday month, I decided to do it that way. I do not take it for granted that the Jewish Journal may be the only Jewish newspaper in the world that publishes interviews that the writers have given themselves, whether in print or online. . If this experiment is successful, I look forward to conducting more interviews with my younger self (past), my old self (future), and my artificial intelligence version (ChatGPTabby).

The following has been edited for clarity, length, and above all to prevent the possibility of irrevocably embarrassing yourself.

Jewish Journal: Hello Tubby.

TR: Hello Tubby.

JJ: Thank you for agreeing to speak with me for this column. Do you always come to interviews barefoot and in sweatpants?

TR: I work from home. I’m doing the interview from home.

JJ: In that case, we’ll have to get something to eat from the fridge.

10 minutes later.

JJ: Let’s start with a thought-provoking question. For one thing, interviewing yourself is pretty selfish, right?

TR: I thought it was clever and fresh. And writing too much about Iran, Jewish life, and my mother tends to be monotonous (very important).

JJ: So you thought of dedicating an entire column to yourself?

TR: Can I call another interviewer?

JJ: No. Believe it or not, you were the only one who actually wanted to interview you. And I will be gentle, I promise. I did a lot of research on you. I can even say that I know everything about you.

TR: So you must know where I put my favorite spatula. Chametz Cookware before Passover. I’ve been flipping pancakes with a knife for weeks.

JJ: We really don’t have time to discuss such nonsense. My first question focuses on food. Do you have a favorite snack?

TR: Since you’re interviewing me, can I ask you about my favorite snacks? I love blueberries, croissants, curly fries, and cheese puffs.One of the best days of my life was when Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s Heckscher (Kosher certified) for cheese puffs.

JJ: I had no idea someone who wasn’t 15 years old was eating so much junk food.

TR: I know my priorities. In the words of Elma Bombeck, “Seize the moment. Remember the women who waved from the dessert cart on the Titanic. ”

JJ: She was great. If you are funny and talented enough to be called “Persian Elma Bombeck”.

TR: ok please Hire another interviewer?

JJ: I said no. I canceled an entire afternoon of phone scrolls to do this interview. Let’s move on. What would you like more people to know or appreciate about the Iranian Jewish experience?

TR: Finally, a deep question. thank you. Iranian Jews are like delicious watermelons.

JJ: Green outside and full of seeds even though it’s advertised as seedless?

TR: So watermelons, like all fruits, grow in specific environments. For 2,700 years, figuratively speaking, we grew up in one land, Persia. We arrived in Persia directly from Samaria and from the 8th century BC he is an Israelite who stayed there until 1979. Can you imagine how ingrained it is in us to be Persian and Jewish?

We are watermelons forever (for the record, I love watermelons). You cannot expect the same results by transplanting watermelons from the only soil known to have watermelons for about 3000 years and replanting them in countries such as Israel, Canada and the United States. In 1979 Iranian soil was metaphorically polluted and we were saved by another generous nation. In Israel, they threw watermelons along with melons, honeydews, and other melons, and told them never to look back.

In America, people tried to grow watermelons by hanging them on trees, figuratively. “Be individual!” we urged. “Hang from this branch and disconnect from your previous emotional and communal support system. You will be lonely and lonely, but you will succeed professionally.” . Many of us still suffer. But we are still great. I’m not sure if this makes any sense.

JJ: No, but I feel like eating watermelon right now.

TR: Best served with salty feta and sweet cardamom tea. everyone knows it.

JJ: What inspired you to become a writer?

TR: Another meaningful question! If you love something, that passion (and hopefully the skills to make it happen) carries over from one profession to another. As a child, I loved writing creative sentences. When I was younger, I incorporated writing into my work tasks at every opportunity. Soon I became a public speaker, discussing issues related to Iran, Israel, Jews, women, and more. Without the delete button, speaking is the same as writing. Today, I am very grateful to my readers (and editors).

JJ: Very interesting. Which do you prefer, hamburgers or hot dogs?

TR: You played that role. It was no joke. Looks like it’s been downgraded to a simple question again. I think even a broken clock can be accurate twice a day. i love hamburgers As far as hot dogs are concerned, I’ve always wondered how they manage to fit meat cuts, tennis shoes, and shredded newspaper into such tight boxes.

JJ: Do you have a favorite Jewish celebrity?

TR: That’s a LA question. My favorite Jewish celebrity is Jess Oppenheimer, who died in 1988.

JJ: Do you love the atomic bomb father?

TR: It’s J. Robert Oppenheimer. Jess Oppenheimer was the creator and head writer of “I Love Lucy.” I learned everything I needed to learn about life, love, wit, and timing from that show. She also taught me English.

JJ: Describe one of the proudest moments of your life.

TR: In the mid-1990s, when I finally learned enough English to help with my family’s VTR program.

JJ: Do you have a few favorite columns you wrote for the Jewish Journal?

TR: “Next Tehran” (January 2023) holds a special place in my heart. In the humor category, my favorite column I wrote in November 2022 was titled “If the Pilgrims Were Jewish.” I had a great time writing it.

JJ: Let’s do some “quick breaks”. What I love about being Jewish:

TR: Only the fact that I am Jewish is imprinted on my soul. I am it and it is me.

JJ: What’s your favorite Jewish food?

TR: My mother’s slow-cooked tongue and black-eyed peas, a Persian-Jewish Rosh Hashanah classic. Let me be clear that the tongue is from the cow and not from the mother.

JJ: What is your favorite city in the world?

TR: Los Angeles. The LA I once knew is still somewhere, buried beneath all the crime, tragic homelessness, and ridiculously high gas prices. and Jerusalem. Ramat Eshkol has a small hill with olive trees and that is my happy place. I like to sit under that tree, talk to Gd, and enjoy a sweet seedless watermelon.

Tabby Refael He is an award-winning weekly columnist for The Jewish Journal and a Los Angeles-based speaker and civic activist. Follow her on her Twitter and her Instagram @TabbyRefael.